


Inside Owen's Hangover

by JantoJones



Series: Torchwood [6]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 12:04:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6374041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JantoJones/pseuds/JantoJones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Owen's stream of consciousness and his interactions with the team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inside Owen's Hangover

Christ, my head hurts. Bloody hangovers. I really should have learned by now. Ianto's coffee will sort it out. The little twat might get on my nerves, but he makes fucking good coffee.

"Ianto!"

Ow, hurts to shout. I swear my brain is pulsating.

"Ianto!"

"Owen."

Jesus, look at him. He's always so bloody immaculate. So fucking perfect. I bet he's not so immaculate when Jack is rammed inside him.

"Could you make me some of Jack's special coffee?"

What is our esteemed captain thinking? I know he'll shag anything with a pulse but why Ianto?

"Hangover?"

"Yep."

Smug bastard. He's probably never had a hangover his whole life. Although, we wouldn't know if he did. He managed to keep his cyber-girlfriend a secret, a headache is easy to hide. Oh fuck, here comes Tosh. She'd better not spout technobabble. I can barely handle English today. Shit, she's smiling. Smile back, quickly.

"Morning Tosh."

"Hi Owen, I've got something for you to see."

Oh Great.

"Great."

Oh, for fuck's sake. It's a newspaper article. 'Is There an Architectural Link Between Egyptian and Aztec Pyramids?' Who cares? Why does she think I'm interested in archaeology? I've never given her reason to. I'll have to read it; she'll ask me questions.

"Can I read it later, I've got a ton of paperwork?"

"Sure, no problem."

Shit, I said that a bit harshly. Now she looks hurt. Bollocks. She's bloody annoying most of the time but I hate hurting her. Anyway, paperwork. I should do these reports at the end of each mission instead of letting them pile up like this. At least there's only seven. Christ, my head's pounding. Where's Ianto with that coffee?

"Aww, you look terrible Owen. Hangover?"

"Yes Gwen, I've got a hangover. If you're gonna take the piss, please do it quickly. My head hurts"

"Maybe you should see a doctor. Physician, heal thyself."

Sarcastic cow! How can she wind me up so much yet turn me on at the same time. It's the tooth gap, the oh-so-sexy tooth gap. And look at that arse. Perfect. I bet she could cure my headache.

"Here's your coffee Owen."

"Stop leering at my backside Owen."

Not forgetting her breasts. Rhys is one lucky bastard to have her on tap.

"Owen"

Fantastic, my coffee.

"Thanks, Yan. You took your time."

"Jack's special coffee takes special preparation. I got you these also."

Aspirin. He's a perceptive little shit. It should be Retcon though, then I could just forget I had a hangover.

"Cheers Ianto. Could you please see if you can get that fucking pterodactyl to shut the fuck up?"

"She's a pteradon and I'll see what I can do."

I suppose he does have his uses. Fuck that's hot. Bollocks, Jack's coming over. He's gonna mention that autopsy that's waiting.

"Morning Owen, you look like crap. Have you done the Peterson autopsy yet?"

I can't even think about it. My stomach is doing somersaults already, and the smells that come from the inside of a dead human really won't help. Vomiting into the victim won't be a great move I imagine.

"Erm…I'll be on it first thing this afternoon Jack. I just want to get this paperwork out of the way."

My hangover should have abated by then. I hope.

"Okay, I want your findings by tonight."

"You'll have them."

Right after I've laid my head down on this lovely table and had a little tiny nap.


End file.
